Don't box me in (please!)
Over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about the boxes I put people into and the boxes other people put me into - a not new train of thought for me.
I have always disliked and verbally fought against being 'boxed' (unlike my daughter's cat - see above!), and like to think of myself as being able to fit into any situation/group/box! But does that mean I don't have a box of my own? And is being able to fit into any box a box in itself? And have I boxed everyone else outside my 'box'? And how can we be free of being defined and confined by these things?
'It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.' Galatians 5:1
In this I hear that we are freed from the boxes of life - freed to be the people that we were created to be and therefore not confined to, or restricted to certain ways of being, certain attitudes, certain conversations, certain patterns of thought. Rather we are free to explore and to be part of and to delight in all areas of life that are the good parts of God's creation. Freed to be whole and not part. And I have come to think that all the 'boxing' we do restricts and shapes the avenues of expression and development open to us.
There is something about 'boxing' that is about closing down. We did it when we boxed the church into its traditions and defined ourselves by what we do not do/what we do not believe. We do it with our class structures that define what is 'right' to wear and read and think, and what style of life is acceptable. And I am beginning to consider how we do it with our allocation/construction of gender.
We supremely have 'masculine' and 'feminine' boxes, and we find ourselves put into one or other box based on our genetalia. It is then that we discover the ways of being which are contained in the box that we have been given. The patterns of behaviour, thought and lifestyle that are 'allowable' or 'expected' of us. Our 'gender' becomes something we learn how to live out, a social phenomenon rather than a birth gift. It can take a lot of wrestling and confusion to begin to realise we are in a box at all - even more to begin to transcend it.
I have been reading some of the writings of Judith Butler on gender acts and am still exploring what she is saying - forgive my fledging thoughts and please help me with them!
There is also something in here of Richard Rohr's concept of first and second half of life living - that the boxes are useful to begin with but we do need to move beyond them if we are to become whole.
Over the last few weeks, I have experienced the surprise of others when I have openly been 'in the wrong box' in their eyes. I have also reflected upon the missed opportunities caused by my boxing of another. There is much to think about here.
I think a lot of what you say is really valuable and worth exploring. I realise that part of my propensity to label is bound up with a kind d of precision I enjoy about language ie if there's one precise word that can save me lots of words, I will use it, even though I love talking. I am beginning to realise though how language and definitions can reduce... Sometimes I now find myself inventing new words. I think in creating new words, we can redefine reality. I wonder in the future whether there will actually be a loosening of language and particularly in terms of gender. But here's a question for you:does language describe reality or does language create reality? God bless. Enjoying your blog. :-)
ReplyDeleteRachel - thanks for responding. I am still considering your question ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe Word became flesh………..'Let there be…' and there was.
Interesting…………will get back to you!
Ok - a sort of response to that question Rachel. Having pondered (long), and if I have to choose, I would say that language creates more than it describes (sometimes sadly).
ReplyDeleteTrying to avoid explicitly getting into the whole 'what is reality and does it exist' question!
As in my gut response, 'God said' 'let there be light……and there was light'; rather than 'God saw the light and said "Hey! Look at that!". Interesting that the first thing created is light - we are to be creators of light with our language, and not darkness. How much of what I create with my language fits with that call to be creative and not destructive? If language creates reality, how careful am I (are we), about what I am (we are), creating? And is this sheer arrogance and a belief in our own importance way beyond its actuality (see how I cleverly avoided using 'reality' there!).
I know from experience that language - of others and my own - creates the 'reality' I (they), begin to live out. I have observed people living out what they have been given via language about themselves - it takes a mammoth effort to create a different 'reality'. Whether this IS reality or a false reality, it becomes the reality which is lived (is that what reality is or are we actually looking for truth above reality here?). Said I was not getting into that question!
If we take for fact that language creates reality, should we in actually be trying to create (reflect, bring to realisation), truth instead? Is this what you mean by your phrase 'redefining reality'? Should it be about bringing into light that which is currently in darkness (hidden), which is truth rather than reality - experienced reality can be very far from the truth that God speaks over us.
There you go - simple answer :-)